2021, THE YEAR I DON'T SLEEP ON MY POTENTIAL

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It struck me when I was having coffee. It was around 7:30am on a sunny October morning and I was sitting in the window of my sixth floor apartment in my London-located high-rise. 2020 had taken it's toll on me and I was feeling low, the kind of low you feel when you don't know what to do with yourself. 

I sat in a trance, staring out of the window, gazing into the tangerine-hued sunrise. And then it hit me.

I realised that for too long, I had been sleeping on my potential. Although I've been hustling online since 2013, it seemed as though I hadn't really made the big waves I wanted to make. Back in the autumn, even after almost seven years of blogging, writing sporadically online and building a bit of a presence – I still felt irrelevant and lost, even though I had created my own world within the worldwide web. 

Maybe mental health issues have stopped me from embracing my full potential, or maybe I just didn't try hard enough – I hope the latter isn't true. Either way – I was sleeping on my full potential. Sleeping on what you can achieve is a bad habit to get into and I do not recommend it to anybody. 

In the past few years I've gone to college and university, moved to a new area and encountered a few mental health issues – I still think I've done pretty well all things considered, but then imposter syndrome kicks in and I begin second-guessing myself again. 

For 2021 however, I am truly grabbing ahold of my dreams. I'm going to graduate from my Honours degree this year, I'm going to do a Masters of Arts, I'm going to get my work published and I'm going to *hopefully* get a column online. These are my main goals. I still plan on blogging too, because I can't imagine my life without this little space on the internet – but in 2021, I want to challenge myself and put my work out there PROPERLY.

I am completely puzzled as to why I didn't pitch articles to websites, publications and magazines before the autumn of 2020. I've been writing online for my blog and a couple of other outlets since 2013, but I never really pitched anywhere, I guess this was because I didn't believe in my ability. In the latter part of the summer, I was approached by a journalist from The Independent – she wanted me to write a piece for Conversations Indy100 – this is what made me realise my writing was good enough. I wrote a piece for Conversations Indy100 and it was the biggest confidence boost ever. In September, October and November, I pitched to a few online publications – a whole lot of rejections happened but two green lights spurred me on. 

Rejections are SO common. Like, really really common. But you have to be persistent. You have to be willing to learn too. With every rejection I received, I went away and read articles and pieces on pitching and on topics similar to my niche. 

My first pitch to be accepted was about me being a virgin at 23 – it was published on Metro Online as part of their 'Love, Or Something Like It' column. This was SUCH a big thing for me. I wanted to write about this topic for so long, but I feel like my blog wouldn't have done it justice. Getting a piece published on Metro is HUGE for me.. it really gave me a massive wake up call that I shouldn't sleep on my talent and passion ever, ever again.

I then pitched to a few other publications (a ton of rejections, naturally) and finally, my second pitch was accepted. I wrote this and filed it just before Christmas, so is still yet to be published, but will be in the New Year.

Getting pitches accepted is the BEST feeling.. ever! But I also get a rather large dose of imposter syndrome whenever I get a pitch accepted. I worry I'm not good enough, that I'll mess up on the house style, that I didn't explain it well enough in my pitch, that I'm not following the brief properly etc... It's horrible feeling this way, but then once the piece is filed, edited by the editor and posted online – it gives you the most affirming feeling imaginable. You finally realise that your writing is good enough after all.

So, in conclusion, 2021 will be my year. I will achieve and succeed.. I'm claiming it. I could choose to beat myself up for not taking this route sooner, but why should I? In the past 7 years of my semi-pro online blogging and writing career, I have achieved SO much. I'm proud of my path and excited to see where it'll lead me in the next 12 months and beyond. I believe in the Universe and it's Divine Timing.. everything happens exactly at the moment it is supposed to. 2021, I'm ready to grab my dreams (and I won't let this pandemic stop me). 

Outfit details: Mollie is wearing an M&S A-line mini skirt, black Primark tights, black Primark boots and a Lulu Guinness handbag. She is wearing an (ad-pr product) Dog Tooth coat from SHEIN. Use code: Quirkq2 for 15% off (not affiliated).