ALMOST 23, STILL SINGLE AND ACTUALLY ALRIGHT WITH IT?

[Dress gifted from Collectif Clothing]

For years I've wanted to fall in love. You know the kind out of a movie or in a song or a book? The kind that makes your heart ache, your head spin and your foot pop? That's the kind of love I've always dreamed of.

I've had crushes galore, but I've never had a boyfriend or even kissed anyone. Yes, that does mean I'm a virgin for those of you wondering (because let's face it, it definitely went through your mind). For years it bothered me – even up until a few weeks ago. I worried about being different to my friends, different to the people I follow on Instagram and different to the majority of the world. But I'm actually alright with it at the moment (kind of, a bit maybe). 

I've been on one (almost, kind of, okay not really) date in my life, I've downloaded and delated dating apps (multiple times) and I've spoken to guys on and off. I never imagined that this would be my 'love life'. I didn't want to find love this way – and I still don't. I know it's kind of how life works these days (especially during a global pandemic), but I guess I just wanted the fairytale of falling in love in a bookshop or something (a la Joe from YOU, without getting murdered). Obviously if I did fall in love digitally, then that would be fine (because if it's meant to happen, it will, right!?) – so let's just say at the minute, I'm going with the flow but not holding out much hope, rushing into anything or actively seeking anything specific. 

I've had close calls of course I have. A guy from Primary School that reached out a couple of summers ago, a guy from university who I was friends with, a crush from college who I wrote a song about and then people I've spoken to online. But they didn't work out for various reasons. The the guy that I went to Primary School with – well, he wanted me to be a housewife (yes, I wrote a full blog post about it, find it here).  So it's safe to say that he kind of put me off falling in love for a bit... and definitely put me off any controlling characters – I am my own person and I'll do exactly what I like.

I've been single for almost 23 years and I guess that's made me kind of selfish. I can do what I want, when I want and how I want. I've never needed permission to post photos of me in underwear, I've been able to pursue any career I've desired, I've been able to decorate my home exactly how I like, and I can wear what I want without wanting approval. Why would I give that up for someone mediocre? Exactly, I won't... it needs to be real, like something out of a movie!

But I guess I am okay on my own. It's all I've known for almost twenty-three years. I don't know any different. It sounds tragic and I even say it's tragic, but deep down I know it's me – part of who I am and part of what makes me, me. Obviously I won't be single forever (well, I bloody hope not), and hopefully I will fall in love (whether that be traditionally or digitally).  

Steal Mollie's vintage style!

I'm wearing a gorgeous dress from Collectif Clothing (which was kindly gifted to me). The dress is in their classic Caterina style, which is definitely my favourite ever style of dress. I find Collectif's Caterina dress style to be incredibly flattering and comfortable. As a curvy woman, I can find it tricky to find dresses that look good AND feel comfortable – so this dress is a real dream. 

The dress I'm wearing is the Caterina Watermelon Gingham Swing Dress. It's a gorgeous 1950s style dress that can be worn for pretty much any occasion (post-lockdown of course). The pattern of this dress comprises of a black and white check pattern with pops of fun in the form of wedges of watermelon. It's a super fun dress that injects a little bit of joy and colour into a dull-ole' day! It's also super versatile – I can see me wearing this through many different seasons – in the summer with sandals or in the winter with tights.

When I eventually wear this beauty of a dress out of the flat, I'll likely pair it with the red shoes and sunglasses featured in this post, as well as with a cute red bag and red or green cardigan (or a trench if it's a rainy day)! 

I'm wearing this dress in a 2XL which is a UK size 18. It's super comfy, flattering and roomy. I love how the material has a bit of give and how the belt cinches in my waist to reveal my hourglass figure.